I am a daylight atheist.

What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

I am a drinker with writing problems.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I am a daylight atheist.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with ones lost self.

Whats a crook only a businessman without a shop.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. If not, when I come home, I can't find anything. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out.

Well, I think the secret is if you have a lot of stocks, some will do mediocre, some will do okay, and if one of two of 'em go up big time, you produce a fabulous result. And I think that's the promise to some people.

Throughout your whole career, there's a bunch of people you might have to kiss. Say there's this character opposite you, and you might not be into her - or him, personally. You just gotta' do it. That's your job.

I've been taking longer to write stories lately.

One night, I lay awake for hours, just terrified. When the dawn finally came up - the comfortable blue sky, the familiar world returning - I could think of no other way to express my relief than through poetry. I made a decision there and then that it was what I wanted to do. Every time I pulled a wishbone, it was what I asked for.

Becoming a millionaire is not the end goal; your growth and development en-route is what matters.

It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

I do know that throughout history, all paper money has eventually come back to its true value, which is zero.

Don't accept that you can't make a difference. Because if you can't make a difference, you won't make a difference, and if you put a multiplier on that we will continue on an unsustainable pathway.

Collage is the twentieth centurys greatest innovation.

People often say that a bad event is a 'blessing in disguise.' Trust me, experience will teach you that some are unbelievably well disguised. Everyone gets fired, or decides to make a radical change at some point. Everyone suffers setbacks.

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own.

Men act like brutes in so far as the sequences of their perceptions arise through the principle of memory only, like those empirical physicians who have mere practice without theory.

The clarinet chose me more than I chose the clarinet.

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

People at the University of Portland were accepting and loving and open-minded. When you have a safety net, it allows you to take risks.

There is no moral authority like that of sacrifice.

Compassion will no longer be seen as a spiritual luxury for a contemplative few rather it will be viewed as a social necessity for the entire human family.

You're not going to put up good numbers every year.

In a few days an officer came to our camp, under a flag of truce, and informed Hamilton, then a captain of artillery, but afterwards the aid of General Washington, that Captain Hale had been arrested within the British lines condemned as a spy, and executed that morning.