Karl Malone's too high-class for a bum like me.

My feet are like gnarled old tree branches.

I'll be the judge of my own manliness.

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

If you're going to have sex, use a condom.

Why should I try to make you believe the things I believe in?

You can love me or you can hate me.

I can score 20 points if I want to, but that's not my desire.

I'm nothing more than a sports slave.

I can't begin to describe the amount of crap I've taken for being a lousy free-throw shooter.

I want to do for rebounds what Michael Jordan did for dunks.

They say Elvis is dead. I say, no, you're looking at him. Elvis isn't dead; he just changed color.

At least 50 times. I've jumped off a building, jumped off a cliff in a car. I've been in bedrooms when women came in with knives and guns.

I'm not one of those leeching sons of bitches. I want to earn everything I get.

The doors fly open when you're a professional athlete.

For years the league has thought I've been on drugs. I would have burned out a long time ago if that was true.

I think marriage and athletes is a bad combination.

Everybody's talking trash these days, so why not keep quiet?

The NBA believes if you play for a team and get paid by a team, you're the property of that team for 24 hours a day.

I don't fit into the mold of the NBA man, and I think I've been punished financially for it.

I understand what rappers are talking about. I think rap is less about educating people about the black community and more about making money.

A player dreams of being a superstar, but he doesn't want people flocking all over him asking for an autograph.

I didn't want to be known as Madonna's playboy, her boy toy.

I've been homeless. I've worked at 7-Eleven.

I don't trust what this life has given me.

With me, everything's right on the table.

I couldn't care less if the guy I'm guarding has HIV. I'm going to slam him anyway.

You watch some teams these days and you wonder if they just met on the playground and decided to choose up sides.

I've got to give Larry Bird his due; he was a great player. He knew the game and he was smart.

When a high-profile personality lives like I do, everybody thinks that person is fated to die young.

I lost $35,000 in less than a week at the Mirage in Las Vegas.

I don't feel anything when I watch Shaquille O'Neal play. I don't feel anything coming off him.

To hang out in a gay bar or put on a sequined halter top makes me feel like a total person.

I spent my whole childhood looking for an escape.

For five years I've felt like the best prostitute in a high-class whorehouse. But all the other girls get paid more than I do.

Karl Malone's too high-class for a bum like me.

I felt like calling attention to AIDS. I had the AIDS ribbon colored into my hair during the playoffs in '95.

I'm starting to see players copy what I do. I'm flattered.

There is so much hypocrisy in sports.

The one thing I do that nobody else does is jump three and four times for one rebound.

My rookie year, I was very immature.

I'm trying to find new ways to make this game more attractive.

I'm hungrier than those other guys out there. Every rebound is a personal challenge.

They didn't have a problem with me being wild and crazy when it came time to fill the arenas.

I'm the basketball version of a gravedigger.

I go out with white women. This makes a lot of people unhappy, mostly black women.

In jail I was just like everybody else, I was sitting there praying, feeling caged.

Death has always had a prominent place in my mind. There are times when I think somebody might kill me.

I go out there and get my eyes gouged, my nose busted, my body slammed. I love the pain of the game.