With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success. Very often you're going to, and maybe the first time you do, it works. And you love it. But then you're trapped.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be real. I like to get wild, behaviorally wild, and it's crazy to think of any form where it's just one way.

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Acting is everybody's favorite second job.

What's beautiful is all that counts, pal. That's ALL that counts.

It's a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I've never had any trouble identifying with the character that I'm playing.

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails.

When I am cast in a movie where I feel that the woman's part is more interesting, I usually start thinking about Spencer Tracy and Fred Astaire. They seem to be the most clear actors when working with women.

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. There's no melodrama; there's no device, It's just about a human being.

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships, I've always thought that it's counterproductive to have a theory on that.

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.

I have a lot of vanity.

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And what is a younger woman? I mean, I'm pretty old. Almost everyone is younger.

A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear.

I'm not hard to get along with.

I'm an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I was in my early 30's. Most of the people who wrote that who thought they were younger than me are now bald and wrinkled.

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get.

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television.

I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to do.

I don't have any fear of intimacy, but rather thrive on it, which is rare in a public person.

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I still live under the illusion that basically people think of me as an up-and-coming young actor.

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide.

Financially, I've lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially.

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.

I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I like because I like thousands and thousands and I've been influenced in some way by all of them.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.

I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.

Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue most of my life.

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I hit that awhile ago.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.

The blues and jazz will live forever... So will the Delta and the Big Easy.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.