I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point.

How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

Its okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you dont point

Comedy is defiance. Its a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And its the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.

There is no executive order; there is no law that can require the American people to form a national community. This we must do as individuals and if we do it as individuals, there is no President of the United States who can veto that decision.

By Rice's own standards, the war was well underway by the time he took office. He was a war president the moment he took the oath. But did he act like one?

President Johnson and I have a lot in common. We were both born in small towns and we're both fortunate in the fact that we think we married above ourselves.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

The President forgot to mention the Moon, Mars, and the federal deficit - all of which are sky-high.

The people who voted for President Obama are just beginning to wake up to exactly what they brought in. The 'change' they envisioned is not the 'change' they have gotten.

Given the daunting challenges that we face, it's important that president elect Obama is prepared to really take power and begin to rule day one.

It was frightening because it was the first time I had gotten a sense of how serious the problem was. It became clear from his notes that he felt the president himself was involved.

I think President Clinton was probably the brightest President of the 20th century.

You're going to be hearing a lot about one scrappy president.

I didn't say 'former president,' I said 'president,' and I have the constitutional rights according to the constitution, including immunity from prosecution.

The President had every reason to believe that the text presented to him was sound... These 16 words should never have been included in the text written for the president.

George W. Bush is not only a great president; he was a great candidate.

Censure is a limp noodle across the wrist of the president. I think the way we vote on the articles will express the way we feel stronger than any censure vote.

I can't believe George Bush might be president.

I want to share with the American people that President Bush and the Republican majority in just 4 years have borrowed $1.05 trillion from foreign nations. That is selling our country to other nations because of the spending that is going on.

We need people out talking about the President, explaining, agreeing with and praising his actions.

Well, I am a Republican, and I would run as a Republican. And I have a lot of confidence in the Republican Party. I don't have a lot of confidence in the president. I think what's happening to this country is unbelievably bad. We're no longer a respected country.

Parents should watch what their children watch and not use TV as a babysitter. If a show is objectionable they should turn it OFF. They should write the president of the network and tell him they are never going to watch that program again and why.

One of the things about leadership is that you've got to show up. And if you want to be president of the United States you've got to make a case to the American people that Barack Obama needs to be dismissed from his position.

It's been President Clinton's dream that we'll have finally a fully integrated Europe.

For example, I spent a lot of time with Reagan, both before he ran for governor and when he was running for president. As a print reporter without the cameras, I was able to really test the quality of their minds and their knowledge base.

A salute from this corner to President Bush for saying he was willing to investigate raising or eliminating the cap on salaries subject to the Social Security tax.

I'm a political scientist and I study these things, and I know that economic problems, with the rising unemployment and inflation and low productivity and so forth, were a factor in that election, in that defeat of President Carter.

Obama is a president, who I think is anti-jobs.

I'll be damned if I am not getting tired of this. It seems to be the profession of a President simply to hear other people talk.

We have a serious structural deficit problem. And it needs to be addressed. The president is trying to address it through reforms of Social Security, but the problem is there with other entitlement programs like Medicare and Medicaid.

The President is not squaring with the American people as to the seriousness of our nation's fiscal condition. It is time for people to stand up and tell the truth.

This is what happens, when, for the first time in modern history, a candidate resorts to lawsuits to try to overturn the outcome of an election for president.

I was very concerned that President Bush is still trying to frighten or scare the American people with respect to the condition of the Social Security system.

I've always admired President Chavez for standing up to imperialism and the meddling of the American government in South America.

We must make it clear that a platform of 'I hate gay men and women' is not a way to become president of the United States.

Mr. President, How are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?

You are the first President to whom the opportunity was ever offered constitutionally to inaugurate such a day. If you fail us now, you may be the last.

Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head, John Conyers, says he doesn't understand it. It'll be passed by Congress that has not read it, signed by a president who smokes, funded by a Treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong?

The 'transition' involves the transfer of power from one president to another. In recent times, the incoming President has designated a Director of the Transition, a team leader, to oversee and administer the orderly transfer of power.

Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most.