Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel.

I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug.

There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

An actress must never lose her ego without it she has no talent.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.

Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

But in the new math approach the important thing is to understand what youre doing rather than to get the right answer.

You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

Roosevelt's magic lay in one facet of his personality: He knew how to take the risk. No other man in public life I knew could so readily take the challenge of the new.

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.

Art teaches nothing, except the significance of life.

If it came to saving the life of one priest or sacrificing the life of an entire congregation, the church would save the life of the priest. Which is backwards, of course.

Work is the meat of life, pleasure the dessert.

All literary men are Red Sox fans - to be a Yankee fan in a literate society is to endanger your life.

At the end, the realization is that she had to get to a place in her life where she could drop her guard and make peace with the fact that whether she had a small amount of time, that she had to kind of live it completely through, instead of living by the rules.

You have choices to make about what you do with the rest of your life.

From the standpoint of observation, then, we must regard it as a highly probable hypothesis that the beginnings of the mental life date from as far back as the beginnings of life at large.

I want to have babies one day but not right now. When I do it I want to do it really well. I want it to be my best project in life.

Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should be impeached.

I can assure you, public service is a stimulating, proud and lively enterprise. It is not just a way of life, it is a way to live fully.

The work which is manipulated looks a little boring to me. I think life is pretty strange anyway. It is wooo, wooo, wooo!